Christmas

Hi everyone!
We're in the home stretch now....are you ready for Christmas? Hopefully all of your gifts are purchased and wrapped and now you'll have time to really enjoy the season with your family. There are tons of great Christmas stories at www.walkthroughlife.com/Holidays/christmas/stories/
Here's a sweet deal too...You can get 2 FREE Christmas downloads at
http://ldsaudio.directtrack.com/z/1417/CD124/ Use code GIFT4JOY
Are MP3 players and Ipods on your Christmas list? If so, you can downloand a free copy of the Book of Mormon at http://ldsaudio.directtrack.com/z/1418/CD124/
I love buying gift cards from stores and restaurants that give you more bang for your buck, such as Rubio's...when you spend $25 you get another $5.
And now, a MERRY CHRISTMAS WISH TO ALL OF MY FEMALE FRIENDS...
If I were ol' Santa, you know what I'd do I'd dump silly gifts that are given to you and deliver some things just inside you front door Things you have lost, but treasured before.
I'd give you back all you maidenly vigor, And to go along with it, a neat tiny figure.
Then restore the old color that once graced your hair before rinses and bleaches took residence there.
I'd bring back the shape with which you were gifted, So things now suspended need not be uplifted.
I'd draw in your tummy and smooth down your back, Till you'd be a dream in those tight fitting slacks.
I'd remove all your wrinkles and leave only one chin, So you wouldn't spend hours rubbing grease on your skin.
You'd never have hot flashes or queer dizzy spells, And you wouldn't hear noises like ringing of bells.
No sore aching feet and no corns on your toes, No searching for spectacles that are right on you nose.
Not a shot would you take in your arm, hip or fanny, From a doctor who thinks you're a nervous old granny.
You'd never have a headache, so no pills would you take, And no heating pad needed since your muscles won't ache Yes, if I were Santa, you'd never look stupid You'd be a cute little chick with the romance of a cupid.
I'd give your heart a lift when those wolves start to whistle, And the joys of your heart would be light as a thistle.
But alas! I'm not Santa, I'm simply just me The matronest of matrons you ever did see.
I wish I could tell you all the symptoms I've got But I'm due at my doctor's for an estrogen shot.
Even though we've grown older, this wish is sincere-- MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU & A HAPPY NEW YEAR!
CENTSerely,
Sister Thrifty